Trauma Experience

Let's introduce some experiences that come with trauma today. First, though, I want to express the experience of trauma is unique to each individual. When teaching about trauma, we use generalities of things that are most commonly seen in children; however, it is so very important that you understand that trauma is highly subjective and unique to each individual. What might be very traumatic for one may not be traumatic at all for another. Two people can experience the very same event at the very same time and come away with two very different experiences. I, myself, have to work daily not to confuse my feelings and experiences of events with others. Sympathizing and Empathizing are not the same thing. We want to be careful that we are not creating more problems in our classrooms or homes by transferring our feelings to the childen. This is probably the most important step in understanding the feelings of the child or person. So, let's dive in.

What does "experience" mean? The experience is the psychological and emotional response of an individual during and after an event (we talked about events previously). Thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that the individual assonciates with the event are all included in the experience. When this happens, people often show some common responses such as, intense fear, horror, helplessness, anger, confusion, or a sense of detachment. Because trauma can happen at any age, even in the womb, it is hard to understand what's wrong immediately, especially if there is a communication gap between the child and their person.

First and foremost, if you know that the event may be traumatic to the child, talk to child during the event. Even if they don't want to talk, they will hear your voice and tone and somewhere they will feel the safety that you bring with them to the event. This will impact their experience. The same is also true, if you are upset then the trauma of the event and the experience they have may be worse than necessary because they are using their feelings and emotions during this time.

There are different levels of experiences, not all are bad or toxic. For example, exercise is a form of stress on the body; however, this is considered positive stress. Next on the list comes a type of stress that is considered tolerable. Tolerable is something temporary that is considered negative, but there is a good support system in place for the person (child). At the bottom of the list is what we consider "toxic" stress. This is where trauma and experiences combine and stop the growth in its tracks. During this time, there is no support system, the stress is strong and prolonged and the system stays activated on high alert at all times. This is where we get the term 'living in survival mode'. Individuals in this type of situation, literally live in their survival areas of the brain. There is no room for growth or processing or even feeling emotions at times. Survival is fight, flight, or freeze. Emotions come when the person can move from brain stem up the brain to the emotional parts. Many adults who have multiple health issues could have had many traumatic experiences in their lives and not ever resolved them. A good book to read, "The Body Keeps the Score".

Does this impact a child's development? Yes! Why? Children can not jump over gaps of developmental levels that are missing or incomplete. It's like a broken bridge. You can not get from one side to the other without fixing the broken piece. Can they go around it? Yes, but sometimes that isn't a healthy alternative and we will discuss those things in the next part "The Effect".

So, if the child can not jump over the missing piece, what happens? The child or person stays at that level of development. They may learn to be a functioning adult, but not a healthy one. The only way to 'fix' this is to go back to the area and the age of the broken piece and mend it the best that can be mended and then work up the development ladder piece by piece. Many mental illness related to development can be traced back to a traumatic experience in a person's life. It's not an illness at all, it's just a missing piece that didn't fix. They are stuck and will be stuck until they are unstuck.

Before we close, let's address some myths about traumatic experiences.

1. Babies don't know they are being traumatized. Wrong!! They know, they just don't understand and can not communicate in a way that is understood. They cry, they don't develop, they are clingy, you name and it's most likely because they have something you need to know, but they can't speak yet.

2. Children are resilient. Not naturally and not in a healthy manner without support and help.

3. Children won't remember. Their body will and their emotions will. Children can have PTSD just as anyone else.

4. Tallking will make it worse. Not true. When it's talked about then it opens up the pathway to communication which helps in the healing process. Not talking about something is equal to keeping  a heavy secret on your shoulders and will eat away at a person. By opening up the door to communication, you allow safe feelings to go inside and the child can heal and not be afraid.

5. Therapy can not be done with young children. This is false. In today's world, therapy is not a couch that you lie back on and talk about your feelings with a doctor who sits behind a desk with a clipboard. Therapy is art, music, tactile, everything under the sun can be a healing power, just make sure that you choose a therapist who is qualified to work with children.

Ok! Wow! Once again a lot of heavy information compacted into this one post. Next time we will talk about effects. Until then...

Stay safe, love yourself and always be the awesome creature you were created to be,

With Love, Always, Teacher Christy